domingo, 12 de julio de 2015

Internal Mechanisms Govern Our thinking

Fortunately, I have a day off, off school, off work. I am panning everything I want to do today. This day is going to be about me relaxing and taking a deep breath. I am not planning to worry about anything or anybody. However, the minute I have this idea, my head starts working and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Why did I have to say that out loud? There is a possibility that I unconsciously knew this was going to happen or maybe it is the result of my realizing and breathing fresh air. I do not know but I hope to find out.

Most dictionaries define reflection as inner thinking or contemplation. There are different types of reflection or rather there are different topics one can reflect on. But it may seem rather obvious that when one does have the time to reflect (even when one did not plan on doing it) one will not reflect on topics such as world peace or hunger; one will start reflecting on what has been ringing a bell on our minds for months. At least that is what happened to me today and I know that I was not going to be very fond of the results of this "inner thinking", not because I would be lying to be myself but quite the opposite: the truth would come out bare naked. The question is -still- why I start reflecting when it was not my idea in the first place to do so. My theory is (and unlike real theories this one is only based on my experiences) that there is a sort of internal mechanism which activated whenever one stops reflecting about what matters in one's life. This mechanism may function at inconvenient times (Exhibit A) or when one is not expecting it to work but it is a sign that some reflection is needed. "Need" may look like a strong word but it accounts for reality. What do I mean with this? I mean that every now and then I need to think about my life and what I am doing because if I do not activate that mechanism, it will activate by itself in the wrong place at the wrong time. I need reflection as I need water for living: I've found out that that is the only way can live in society as a civilized person without having to eat my insides every time something comes up that I can no longer ignore or cope with.

Unfortunately, I have a day off, off school, off work. I am planning everything I want to do today. However, the mechanism just activated itself by the idea of my free time and it seems like I will be reflecting all day. I guess it is the price I have to pay for not making the time to think when I was supposed to. I cannot do anything to stop it, that is for sure. So here we go...


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